Someone brought to my attention today that I caused offense to someone else with whom I attend church. I'm horrified by this. Let me back-up by saying that I know I'm candid, outspoken and often sarcastic. I happen to like those qualities about myself, and like to think I'm also a nice person. Though I'm sure I put my foot in my mouth more often than I realize (I'm working on that flaw), I would never ever intend to be unkind. I like to assume that I'm everyone's friend until told otherwise. That's perhaps why I really was stunned by this recent revelation that I've caused hurt feelings. This person is someone I respect, someone I think is dedicated, intelligent, hardworking, creative, kind. I've spent the last 5 hours fretting, trying to figure out what I said or did that offended her, or what might have been misinterpreted. Now I just don't know what to do! Go about our things as usual? Walk on eggshells? Send a note? As of now she doesn't know that I know I offended her, even though I don't know how or when. I've been all anxious about it all night but B just said this to me: who takes offense when offense is intended is a fool. Who takes offense when offense is not intended is a greater fool. Will everyone just please tell me up-front when I've done something stupid? Otherwise, the FIMM-itis will never be cured.
16 December 2007
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4 comments:
Okay so you did find my blog,It always sucks when you suffer from FIMM-itis. I think we all have at sometime, But I have learned to take everything someone says with a grain a salt. But none offense ever taken here, I'll tell ya! Love ya and glad you moved to the neighborhood!
thanks! I blogged about you and Brooke a few days ago, under "Nice People." We totally dig our neighbors!
I just did this on Sunday to a really nice man whom I respect. I just say sarcastic things without thinking of my audience.
I say definitely talk to her. In my experience, it's better to be upfront about it and try to make amends. I'm sorry it happened to you. If you're like me it will probably happen again.
Better to get it out in the open than have you both stewing about it. Not worth the expended energy. A friend of mine said that she prays everyday so as not to offend others as she has a tendency to do. Remember, many people look at ways to be offended by others...so what do you do????
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