friends

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it's just such a lovely feeling to have friends. to share junk food with. to shimmy and shake with. to laugh with when really I'm stuck in the murky mud of low self esteem. (I know it's zumba and everyone looks ridiculous, but I always feel like the ugliest girl in the room). to snail mail with. to confide in. to suggest questionable tactics in marital negotiation. to say nice things about my little ones. to make hand-me-ups out of hand-me-downs. to venture into unknown territory with.  to look out for one another in a world of strangers. to make me feel a little bit warmer despite the arctic chill. to look up to them for all their kindness and talents and goodness. it's especially nice to have friends when I probably don't deserve such nice ones. Without them, I would feel utterly alone in a dreary season.

ps. I love to browse sarah jane. so much sweetness.

grateful

for sunshine         fresh linens on the bed        a stroll  with my boys         a visit with a friend        diet coke shared with Mr. J        homemade granola        bedtime baby snuggles      new words      a little garden in the works      a sunday drive      nice people      the latest issue     a summer trip planned      a semi-organized garage      a good book     tulips  blooming       

happy for...

ugly warm boots
cheerful manners: "oh, thank you mommy!" and "you're welcome very much!" and "please, may I _______?!"
a book to read
cute paper buntings
leftover cake
nanuk's gleeful, lightning-speed tongue-trilling
an extra blanket on my bed
and today especially: soup simmering, bread baking, baby napping, toddler "reading," sun-shining, diet-coke-sipping.

may I be thankful

For each new morning with its light,

For rest and shelter of the night,

For health and food, for love and friends,

For everything Thy goodness sends.

--ralph waldo emerson

My life is not glamorous or enviable or brimming with fine clothes and fancy furnishings and luxury upon luxury. I like those things. I've tasted those things. I object not to those things, but I certainly don't need those things.  For my life is rich with laughter and love and learning,  faith and song, rest, warmth, genuine friendship and simplicity. Rich with blessings granted, a life we have created together alone, our two hands, hearts and minds ever working, no hand-outs. What more could I wish than for my two most precious gifts, with rosy cheeks and sparkling giggles,  to know of these things? 

thankful for little fingers

our rendition of this. not quite the same, but this was done by a three-year-old rather than one of Martha's staffers...which makes it precious and perfectly imperfect to me.

Good Karma

I'm so glad we could toss a little good karma back out into the universe. Friends were in need, we were able to help. In just a teensy way they allowed us to serve them and I'm grateful. It's nice to throw the love back out there, especially when we've been on the receiving end of the kindness many times over. Even when we haven't, but especially when we have. Makes the world go round.

a little gratitude

***This is the post I was working on the day I went into labor. It's still applicable, I think*** 

I think a little gratitude is due, as I've been whiney for a few days about being miserable. 

Today I am grateful for:

1. M, who is healthy and happy and strong and bright and even cute.

2. Winter is nearing and end. Still chilly, but it wasn't all that bad. 

3. Less than 2 weeks until we become a family of 4. 

4. Modern medicine that confirms this baby is as of today healthy and strong and has hair.

5. Wonderful friends and neighbors with endless offers of assistance with M in coming days.

6. An unsolicited foot rub from B. 

7. I'm not on forced bed-rest.

8. The few days per week that M does succumb to napping, even if for just an hour.

9. Rare opportunities to get away with some gals for an hour or 2. 

10. The internet's ability to connect people.

11. Melting snow

12. Chocolate Chip Cookies

Little Hearts

I'm a bit late, but this week is 

Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Week. 

This special friend knows what it's all about. Her sweet baby girl is a walking miracle, despite the many defects that came with her heart. My own grown up B is also a survivor of a congenital heart defect--no worse for the wear. We are are thankful for modern medicine and great faith and all heart babies everywhere. 

Hallelujah

Who knew the sight of one of these:

would make a girl so happy?  

Please come back soon, Mr. Snowplow. 

simple gifts, warm hearts

I always look forward to attending our church service just before Christmas: everyone dressed in their holiday best, warm greetings, beautiful songs, special musical numbers, and all emphasis on the birth of our Savior. Our service today included violins and flutes along with the choir, organ, piano, and Primary children. And M was nearly perfectly behaved the entire meeting. Hallelujah.

The evening brought visits from many friends. All bearing treats of some kind, all welcome. I welcomed the snowy shoes puddling inside my front door, the coats piled on chairs, the laughter and banter, the over-stimulated antics of my little one who loves company. We are learning, little by little, of the many reasons we moved here. Reasons of which we were not aware when we moved in 2007. Tonight, some of those reasons gathered in our home as people, as blessings, as friendships, as all things that make life rich. Though it's chilly and snowy, our hearts are warm because of the many wonderful souls we've come to know this last year. Souls who reach out, who give selflessly, who bring laughter, talents, conversation and wisdom and homemade wheat bread or coconut breakfast syrup or designer sugar cookies. Or who arrive unannounced on 4-wheelers to plow our driveway, though we are capable on our own. Souls who love my child and make him feel safe and welcome and super cool. Who offer to tend him when mommy has to visit the doctor or visit-teach. Souls who drop by with special gifts and sincerely beautiful notes full of grand compliments (Joy: ditto you). Souls who "help" B install an entire bathroom--and by "help" I mean they did it mostly themselves while B watched. Or those who allow us opportunities to share and to give. Tonight, as these dear ones came and went or came and lingered, I felt Christmas in a way I haven't in a very long time.

When the house was once again quiet, B expressed how much he loved having a house full of friends, how good it felt to open the door to so many. I concurred with misty eyes. Our gift--though we are rather undeserving--from St. Nick this year: the gift of wonderful friendships near and far. A simple yet immeasurable gift for our simple little family in our simple little home, filling our simple little hearts as all the sweets have filled our not-so-little tummies. And making me feel like a lame friend for only giving the gift of simple homemade fudge (made with love) to all our dear ones.

PS: and we are grateful to those who pushed my SUV, in 4WD, out of a snowdrift in the middle of the road, 1 block from my house, even if they were laughing at me the whole time.

Day-After Delight

My MIL makes a tasty leftover sandwich the day after Thanksgiving. Adored by family and friends all over Cache Valley and beyond. I dare say my B loves this day-after delight as much as, if not more than, the actual feast. First I enjoy a little turkey (this year ours was brined and oh my how delicious) and cranberry sauce on a dinner roll, then dive into one of these.

2 slices sourdough bread

butter

sliced mozzarella (provolone or swiss are also great)

turkey!

cranberry sauce (jellied works great for this, but I prefer whole berry sauce)

Generously butter one side of each slice of bread. Layer cheese and turkey between slices, and grill until golden and cheese is melty. Gently remove one slice of bread and spoon cranberry sauce over the sandwich. Replace the slice of bread. Enjoy with a side of leftover dressing and a piece of pie! 

Happy Thanksgiving

"Gratitude is the heart's memory."

--French Proverb

May you travel safely, count blessings gratefully, savor guiltless-ly and enjoy completely.

Grateful inspiration: My favorite hymn of all, as performed by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir

speaking of gratitude

I'm glad it's Friday. It's been a week of trials for this mommy, and her floors. So far this week has seen a canister of oats, a canister of pasta, a tube of desitin (on carpet!), a bowl of Cheerios and assorted contents of my spice drawer. All. Over. My floors. Did you know that diaper cream is stubborn? 

Oh the drama of our (what a relief) textbook case of the terrible twos. Something I once considered an exaggeration. Really, it's like all the "experts" have been secretly videotaping our child and documenting his behavior because M fits every description of this stage. Every one, precisely. Defiance. Sweetness. Aggressiveness. Snuggling. Curiosity. Fear. Joy. Trauma. Screaming. Whining. Sobbing. Giggling. Conversing. Singing. It's a roller coaster of a learning curve for parent and child, amplified by visits to the doctor's office with mommy or spending 2 1/2 hours at Sam's Club waiting for the tire shop to repair 1 tire. (Fun for both of us). His efforts at being good are very apparent, and I love to praise him generously for those efforts--especially in trying circumstances: "I'm a good boy, Mommy!" he proudly exclaims. He really can be so charming and irresistible. 

With the flip of a switch, though. he turns into an absolute terror.  It's like he's a wild animal that can sense my weakened condition and uses it to his advantage. Yesterday, I was on the verge of tears by 2pm as nothing could pacify, entertain, please or comfort my little guy.  So I express gratitude for mellow weekends and happy mornings like today, which was 80% better than yesterday.  And I will weather this little storm of willfulness (that's a good thing, right?) I will marvel at the elasticity of my patience and the overwhelming delights (honestly) of toddler-rearing. 

Quoteworthy

"gratitude is the most exquisite form of courtesy"

-Jacques Maritain

I quote sheepishly as I have a stack of "thank you" notes, shamefully unsent and belated, glaring at me this very moment. 

Over the river and through the woods

[image via bon appetit]

does anyone's turkey ever really look like this?

Thanksgiving. I have a vague recollection of what it tasted like, felt like before I moved away. My mom's mashed potatoes and savory gravy, stuffing with apples and dried fruit, steamed fresh veggies, her wedding china on a tablecloth made by my great grandmother, the jell-o salad I don't like, my brother's jokes, watching the parade on TV while preparing the food and listening to Christmas music while cleaning up together. All part of the foggy memories. It's the kind of holiday associated with family, and I haven't enjoyed it with my own family since senior year of High School. In college, it was too near Christmas break to justify a plane ticket. After college, work and budget limitations prevented me. Now my schedule is more flexible, but a 3rd plane ticket is required and Thanksgiving travel headaches would surely be compounded by a toddler. At least by my toddler.

Since our engagement many years ago we've spent all but one Thanksgiving with B's kind family in Cache Valley. Last year we ended up eating out--which we thoroughly enjoyed--because B caught a nasty cold the day before. This year, it looks like I might be hosting the in-laws at our own house. I'm rather looking forward to it, actually. Low key with plenty of simple food, a little football and maybe, just maybe, a nap!

The jello-free menu:

Roast Turkey (courtesy of Grandma Krissy)

Stuffing with sausage, apples, and dried cherries

Mashed potatoes with savory giblet gravy

Sweet potatoes, baked, with cinnamon honey butter

Fresh spinach salad with vinaigrette

Homemade dinner rolls (courtesy of Grandma Krissy)

Cinnamon-orange cranberries

Sparkling Beverage

And for dessert consideration:

Lion House Cranberry Crunch

Steamed Carrot Pudding (new to me, but apparently a very old fashioned, very beloved dessert probably deserving of a post all it's own.)

Vanilla Bean Ice Cream

If both of these desserts fail, after all, I'll be baking them, Grandma Krissy will be getting a Pumpkin Pie from Costco on her way. Let us give thanks for such blessings ;)

Ideal houseguests

We had company at our house this weekend. I love having guests. I love my ongoing project of making our guest room luxurious. I love readying the cozy linens and stocking the guest bath, and preparing a couple of favorite dishes. Guests like the ones we had this weekend are extra special: they chopped vegetables. They did dishes. Twice. They cleaned up toys. They entertained my kiddo. They were endlessly patient with constant toddler management. They raved about my cooking. I practically felt like a guest in my own home. So, either I'm a poor hostess, or I have really cool relatives. Maybe it's both. Mostly they are just cool. Because they brought one of these:

Chocolate Chocolate Chip. And boy oh boy. Those cake people are right. I do wish it didn't have a hole. I wish I had another one right this minute. I wish I could sample every flavor. Thanks to Jenny and Mike for toting it on an airplane all the way to us! And for managing to share it. One of my new favorite things. On earth. In Jenny's words: To. Die. For.

It's not too soon to be grateful for...

[photo via realsimple]

...M, who was such a very good boy at church Sunday (miracles do happen)    ...favorite treats, brought by friends, from Great Harvest   ...a spare roll of toilet paper within reach         ...sunshine-y autumn days    ...my new storage closet under the stairs, with shelves and hanging rods        ..friends and neighbors who share their desserts and love my little boy         ...my hubby's big hooded sweatshirts on chilly evenings ...

like the pioneers said...

"use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without"

Seems an appropriate adage right now. My Dad used to repeat it when I was a child, wanting something new or better or cooler.  I learned frugality from him, and I'm grateful. Especially when it comes to weathering the economic storms that lay ahead of us.  While Mr. J's job is not glamorous or lucrative, it is remarkably stable despite financial unrest in the world. We are grateful for  that, and grateful that he loves going to work every day. We are also grateful to understand what it means to live beneath, or a the very least within our means. Our lives are no less rich because of it. We may go without certain luxuries, but never without needs. What kind of world would we live in if we all took this saying to heart? 

Proud to be a pushover...

Some friends recently referred to me as a "pushover mommy", mainly on the point that M still has a chupa (pacifier) at bedtime. OK, fine, yeah, it's been hard for me to take it away from him and easy to find reasons to let him keep it. I'm getting there. In  other areas though, I feel I'm a toughie: Balanced meals, whatever is prepared. Please and Thank You. Baths nightly. No video games.  The Naughty Corner--until the timer dings and he apologizes with hugs. Bedtime and naps are observed with great regularity.

I am, however, a sucker for one thing that's certain: snuggles. I welcome each and every opportunity for snuggles and cuddles from my little M. Like when he wakes up in the night crying "Afraid! Afraid!"  Like when he wants to read stories and plants himself firmly in my lap and rests his head against my chin for story after story. And like tonight.

Our bedtime routine has been challenged lately, with the introduction of the "big boy bed." Going to bed is not the problem, but staying in bed is. We finally put a lock on the outside of his door.  After 25 minutes of sobbing and pounding last night, he fell asleep on the floor up against the door. Tonight it took only 20 minutes. A couple of hours later we moved him to his bed and he asked for a song in his half sleeping state. A verse of  "Jesus Once Was a Little Child" then B left the room. I laid down next to M and stroked his forehead as he began to drift. A few minutes later, he turned his face close into mine, smiled and softly whispered "More. Jesus."   

Who could resist? 

I obliged and continued to stroke his forehead until his breathing deepened and his limbs relaxed. As I rose from the bed he bolted upright, asking me to lay down. I willingly obliged again. As he began to drift off to la-la-land, he rested his feet upon my side, and, eyes closed, took my hand in his, placed it on his chest, and squeezed. With one soft little hand he clutched my thumb, with the other he stroked my fingers.

Again, who could resist? 

There I stayed until his hands fell to his side in deep slumber. Reluctantly I made my exit. I will snuggle him as long as he needs. Or, rather, as long as I need. Because I do need, as I need oxygen to breathe.  I know these sweet tender moments are bound to disappear all too soon.  I haven't the desire nor the will to resist them now, despite his frequent 2-year-old-naughtiness. If it makes me a pushover, well, I'm OK with that. 

Come on, could you resist this?

Meet the neighbors...

(that little black speck is actually a big black bear) 

Ok, so it's not like they live right next door, but the bison (different from buffalo, by the way), moose, bears and elk, dear, coyote, eagles and more are just up the road a ways. Among my favorite things about Yellowstone? The smell of the air--fresh, clean, and evergreen. An elixir. 

Also check out Miss Marta's shots of the local charm here and here and here.