my boy

you started preschool today. and my chest was tight, and I deposited you in your class with a lump in my throat, but you were happy and ready. more big kid than little kid, it seems.

I love to tell you that you are a good boy, a wonderful kid, a kid I'm proud of. Almost four and full of life a hundred times over. Full of spirit and will, also. Which leads to far more naughtiness and defiance than I care to note, except that it can't be ignored. Because, let's face it, you will not be ignored.  And you won't back down. Ever. I teeter, out of balance, between teaching you obedience and crushing your effervescent spirit. Mostly the going for mommy is rocky, but I seek a ray of hope in how you express yourself according to how you think things ought to be instead of how they really are.  And that once you fix your mind on an idea, you simply will not let go until you have seen it through. Not for a pack of wild horses or fire-breathing dragons. Certainly not for me. And it's hard, and I cry, and do the walk of shame past stunned mommies and their [apparently perfect] gawking children. (Really, wasn't it bad enough without triggering the car alarm?) And sometimes other moms, who are surely experts, express unkind things in judgment of you or of me.  As if I didn't do all the right things like time outs and choices and all that until I turn purple with the futility. Oh their comments are thinly veiled as useful advice of course, still it hurts.

But I love you. I love you with all the fury of your five alarm meltdowns, I love you with all the bubbling of your laughter, I love you with all the tenderness of your heart, with all the crackling energy of your boy-ness.  It stings to think that so many only see your intensity and not your gifts. But I see them. And I hope one day it will matter to you, at least a little bit, that I see your shining light and love you and understand you. We don't need elaborate parties or fancy outings, we have each other. And lots of happy times just doing our thing. Because you are a spectacular child. And you are mine.

long time gone

montana. beautiful. everywhere. 

the last few weeks have included 1900 miles and 30 hours of interstate driving, 8 billion loads of laundry, 2 packages of licorice, 5 books on cd, 3 hours at the dentist, 6 hours at the mall (I was held captive), some travel bingo, some travel i spy, 5 repetitions of Miss American Pie, dozens and dozens of ee-i-ee-i-o's, not nearly enough sleep, and enough family drama to drive us home early. The breathtaking vistas between here and there, plus new precious memories with dear ones, surely make up for the short lived unpleasantness. but now we are home and settling back into bedtimes and mealtimes and pouring my  juice in the morning while still in my pjs. tending my humble garden and playing in the backyard with my little boys. Though my wanderlust is a chronic condition, and I so rarely feel homesick, it sometimes is just wonderful to just be home. wherever we make home to be.

 windmills at the columbia river gorge. enormous. 

snoqualmie pass. gorgeous. 

empty buckets

I've been feeling rather snarky lately. Snarky.  Frustrated. Burnt-out. Hurt. Humiliated. Inferior. And just plain ticked off. Ugh. A week of adding insult to injury over and over finally got to me. A real case of the mean reds and I reacted poorly without grace or patience or class. Dreadful. I don't like this feeling at all, but it seems to be stuck and I just can't shake it. It certainly doesn't bring out the best in me and in fact often works up embarrassing behavior. I've said things I wish I hadn't. Raised my voice when I needn't. Thought things I oughtn't. Reacted harshly.  Oh! I am so very wretched. My little boys witnessed a sort of episode of frustration and I can't erase it. My Piglet learned a word that is hardly naughty but sounds a bit shameful coming from the cherubic mouth of a three-year-old. And it's probaly my fault. Ugh. That same Piglet, dramatic and loud (or louder) always, was telling me to calm down. Oh, I am rotten. And what makes it worse: my frustration has been unleashed in parcels. None of the recipients could know of any other catalysts, each building on the other. So, they likely think I'm just uptight. Permanently snarky. That I'm just that way all the time. Ugh. 

Will my children get over it and forget? Will strangers and friends alike just brush it aside? Have I done permanent damage? Can I beg and pray for sufficient forgiveness.  Can I find a way to fill my empty bucket and get my mojo back? Goodness knows it's up to me. My bucket. My job to fill it. And avoid letting it get empty again. I shudder to think.

First things first: a quasi date night on the sofa with John Wayne, Ben & Jerry, and Mr. J. Maybe that will help.  Or maybe I should try Holly Golightly's advice. 

vice

I love my little blog. I love how it has connected me with long lost friends, far away friends and friends I've yet to meet. I love how it serves to document and preserve, how with it I can put my thoughts down and be mindful of what kind of energy I'm sending out into the universe. I love how the land of blog is an endless source of inspiration, insight, humor, and tenderness. A place to rally the troops or be a shoulder for someone else's tears. I love that I can tune in our out as I choose, and participate in bloggishness when my real life permits.  The blog is free. And doesn't require hiring a babysitter.

Marta  formulated and presented a blogger's workshop of sorts recently with a few precious pearls of wisdom in regards to this thing we call the blog. It's true that many argue the internet is wasteful, that blogging is frivolous, that it's just a vice. Ooh. That stings a little. But I think it's only true if one wants it to be.  Via blogging I have found kindred spirits that have enriched my life. I have found a creative outlet. I found a cure for the loneliness I felt after I had my first baby and then moved to a small town in which I didn't know a single soul.  I have found a sounding board. I have found company in heartbreak, kinship clever words, and a place to show a little love imperfect as it might be. Sure beats watching reality TV.

A few clicks of the mouse give me something all to myself. A novelty in motherhood, where my home is not my own. My lunch is not my own. My sleep is not my own. My time is not my own. Even my shower is oft derailed by the needs of my family and ceases to be my own. But nobody ever messes with the blog.  It alone is my own. A vice it most definitely is not. An opportunity, a blessing, it most definitely is.

[photo credit]

School Days: Quiz Time

via travelinoma's school days seminar: book shelf

Final Exam!

Are you a bookworm?

1. Do you own more than 100 books? yes
2. Do you read any book or magazine that is handy? yes
3. Have you ever read the cereal box? yes
4. Do you have a membership with the local library? yes
5. Do you go to the library more than once a week? no--my toddler has not yet mastered good library behavior. he prefers to remove the koi from their pond. 
6. Would you rather read a book than go out with friends? sometimes
7. Do you visit the bookstore more often than you do your mother? heck yes
8. Do you wear glasses? If so, was reading the reason you got them? no, no
9. When asked your favorite hobbies, do you reply with a single word "reading?" it's tops on the list
10. Have you ever stayed in bed all day reading? yes

School Days: Quiz Time

via travelinoma's school days: family matters

Final Exam!

What's your opinion on family matters? Answer these questions yes or no.

1. I usually celebrate my birthday with family. yes
2. I try to participate in my extended family functions and gatherings. yes
3. If my friend's birthday and my nephew's birthday fell on the same day, I would go to my nephew's birthday party. if we lived in the same town, yes
4. I would love to spend New Year's Eve with my family. yes
5. Most of my movie outings and picnics are with family. yes
6. I know all my cousins. no
7. In case of any great news, I inform my relatives (siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc.) first. sometimes
8. If I have any problems, I share them and consult with my family. no
9. My family is a good support to me. sometimes
10. I support family members in their times of need. yes
11. I can name my children's best friends. yes
12. I can name my partner's best friends. yes, and their wives and children.
13. I know what stresses my partner is currently facing. yes
14. I know the names of some of the people who have been irritating my partner lately. yes
15. I can tell you some of my partner's life dreams. yes
16. I can tell you about my partner's basic philosophy of life. yes
17. I can list the relatives my partner likes the least. yep
18. I feel that my partner knows me pretty well. yes
19. When we are apart, I often think fondly of my partner. yes
20. My partner really respects me. yes?
21. I respect my partner. yes
22. I notice what my partner does for me and express appreciation. yes. 
23. My partner generally likes my personality. yes
24. I like my partner's personality. yes
25. At the end of the day I am glad to see my partner. yes
26. I listen respectfully to my dad, even when we disagree. yes
27. I am beginning to understand my mom. yes
28. I check up on my married siblings often. yes
    
29. I have developed friendships with my brothers/sisters-in-law. yes
30. I occasionally call my aunts and uncles just to say hi. yes
31. I am trying to forgive family members who have treated me poorly in the past. yes
32. I know my grandmother's maiden names. yes
33. I know my great-grandparent's names. yes
34. My kids know what my dad did for a living. well, they are babies still. 
35. I am consciously trying to strengthen my family. yes

Think about the questions you answered "no." Do they matter to you?

School Days: Quiz Time

Via Travelin Oma's School Days Seminar: Write Away

It's Finals Week!

For today's exam, get out your notebook and answer each question honestly in a complete sentence. Use one of the choices given, or write your own.

1. The power in your house goes out, and you are stuck with candles and nothing to do but think. How long could you entertain yourself just sitting?
~Ten seconds. I'd get out my cell phone and call a friend.
~Ten minutes. Then I'd fall asleep.
~ Hours. I'd reconstruct my last conversation; think through a presentation I might give someday; imagine my life in ten years; remember my high school gym class. Also: Memorize my babies' faces, fingers, giggles, phrases.  Think up a divine dinner party and imagine every last detail. Dream up my Oscar (best supporting actress) or Grammy (song of the year)  or Tony (best ensemble in a musical) speech (ha ha ha!)

2. You're writing and the phone rings. You:
~Answer it.
~Finish your sentence, then answer it.
~ Let the answering machine get it.

3. The person calling is one of your dearest friends, who wants to get together for brunch and a good long chat about her ex. Unfortunately, this juicy brunch will take place during your scheduled writing time. You:
~ Decide to go. You haven't heard the latest dirt on her evil ex in ages.
~Say you can't go, but sit on the phone dishing for another hour.
~Reschedule for a non-writing day.

4. You're at the restaurant with your friend when you have a fantastic idea for a novel. You:
~Hope you'll remember it—you have nothing to write with and nothing to write on.
~ Will manage. You use the waiter's pen and the back of your receipt.
~ Carry a special notebook, an organizer, or even a laptop with you everywhere—you're completely prepared.

5. You imagine yourself as a successful writer. What is the image that is clearest in your mind?
~The rounds of publishers' parties,  autographings, and talk shows where you are lionized for your work of immortal literary genius?
~Your name on the spines of a shelf full of beautiful books?
~Your backside glued to the chair, your cramped fingers on the keyboard, and your blurred eyes on the monitor.

5. If money was no issue, what would you do with your spare time?
~Shop til you drop;
~Prepare for a marathon;
~Sit alone in a room full of books and type.

6. Do you have . . .
~An idea for the Great American Novel -- a certain best-seller,
~ A few ideas for different stories,
~Background and development for a number of related books, a time-line, and a whole bunch of files.

7. You figure the biggest benefit of becoming a writer is:
~Money and fame;
~Flexible hours and being your own boss;
~ The writing
8. You read:
~The occasional newspaper, magazines at the hair salon, and headlines in the grocery store check-out line.
~In your free time if you don't have something better to do.
~You invented the term multi-tasking because reading IS your "something better to do". You usually have a book in hand no matter what else you're doing at the time.

9. You have some strong opinions about a political issue. You
~ Yell at the car radio.
~Debate it with your book club.
~You write a letter to the editor/blog about it. 

10. You realize you have an experience that would benefit others. You
~Call around, and let people know you're anxious to talk with them;
~Ask if you could speak about your topic at a luncheon;
~ Write an article and submit it for publication.

Essay Question: Using the sentences you compiled as answers, think about your desire to be a writer. Do you have romanticized ideas of what being a writer is like?  A few, but realize it doesn't come without bloodshed and tears. Do you want to write for yourself, or to be read by others? Me. Is your goal to be a writer, or an author, and what's the difference? How will writing fit into the responsibilities of your life right now? I have to squeeze it in, I hope never to make my children suffer for it. What have you learned about yourself as a writer? ...and miles to go before I can label myself a "writer"

School Days: Quiz Time

Via Travelin Oma's School Days Seminar: Travel Studies

Final Exam!

1. What is your traveling style?

~ Going on a super luxury cruise, relaxing and eating well for a week.
~ Going with friends on a history bus tour with a guide.
~ Going on a wildlife safari or a mountaineering expedition.
I go for a combination of the three!

2. How many clothes do you usually take along on a holiday?
~ At least 2 new sets of clothes for every day of the vacation.
~ One set per day is usually enough.
~ I can easily manage in 3-4 sets, no matter how long the vacation.

3. How many pieces of luggage did you carry on the last vacation?
~ Including the sleeping bags and the tent?
~ Two suitcases, carry-on, shopping bag, purse, tote, diaper bag, laptop, pillow, coat.
~ A backpack, that's all.
2 suitcases, 1 bag, 1 purse (a family of 4!)

4. Given the following choices, where would you prefer traveling to?
~ Alaska or Tahiti
~ India Or China
~ Kenya Or Greenland
In order of preference: Kenya or Greenland, Alaksa or Tahiti, India or China

5. What is your preference regarding hotels, while on vacation?
~ A luxurious five star, with a room service 24 hours duty.
~ A medium priced hotel, with just the necessities.
~ A Tent rules.

6. What are your food preferences on a holiday?
~ A six course meal at the best restaurant in town.
~ A decent meal at a good place for $12.
~ Whatever you can carry in your cooler.

7. How do you travel while on a holiday?
~ A rented car.
~ Public transport.
~ By foot, wherever possible.

8. What's your dream vacation?
~ Biking down the California coast.
~ Eurailing around Europe for three months.
~ Two weeks at a beach resort.

9. You and your friends are hiking. You
~ Take the most difficult route; it's no fun otherwise.
~ Take the route everyone else takes.
~ You take the simplest route, after all reaching the destination is important.

10. While on a beach
~ You prefer to go surfing or scuba-diving.
~ You are content with swimming in water.
~ You would rather stay on the beach and build sand castles.

11. In an amusement park, you will be seen
~ On the new gigantic roller-coaster.
~ Taking the scenic train ride.
~ Watching the kids while reading a book.

12. Someone says they're taking you bungee jumping.
~ You are totally game for it. Wow!
~ You express your doubts, but are persuaded.
~ You throw up.

13. When you are on a camping trip
~ You cook and eat whatever you can catch.
~ You bring fried chicken for dinner, and muffins for breakfast.
~ You hire a dutch oven chef.

14. You're planning a long road trip with the kids. You
~ Buy a new car with a built in DVD player.
~ Take plenty of benedryl.
~ Buy several copies of Harry Potter, and read it out loud together.

15. You're in Washington DC for a long weekend. You can't wait to
~ Visit all the Smithsonian museums.
~ Take a city tour to see the Lincoln Memorial and other monuments.
~ Sleep in every morning, take in a movie, and see a live ballet that night.
Timed test: You have 15 minutes to plan a trip. Use Expedia, Travelocity, or any other resource to find a flight/driving route, plus a hotel/place to stay in a city of your choice. Is it do-able? Pack your bags!  Planning is easy.  Actually being able to go is a different story. 

powerful words

I appreciated these powerful words from a brilliant and inspired man; an address given to the students at BYU-Idaho this week.

[prayer at valley forge by arnold friberg]

I harbor great anxiety and fear for the sanctity of the Constitution of the United States of America. My soul is pained by the thought of altering it's words, tampering with it's intent, belittling it's inspiration. I hope, I pray, it changes not.

assignment, in part, via travlin oma's school days.

School Days: Scary Tales

via Travelin Oma

Book Shelf: Scary Stories

Homework: Do any or all or be inspired. ~List 10 ideas for a spook alley, or a Halloween party. ~Tell a ghost story you remember from your youth. ~Suggest a favorite book of scary tales. What age is it appropriate for?

I confess I'm not the biggest fan of Halloween. No gore and horror bedecking my halls, and too much candy is too much candy. But, I remember how my parents just hated this holiday and what a bummer it always seemed to me as a child. So I've resolved to do it up right by my little ones with happy touches here and there. I buy the cheap candy to pass out at my door, but if my kiddos are going to wear costumes, they might as well be good ones. And if I'm going to make treats (which I probably won't), they'd better be cute and tasty. Halloween can be plenty of fun without all the blood and guts, right? And so, a very simple Halloween party (which I might do once) for little ones might include:

1. jack-o-lanterns in every corner of the yard and the house, garlands of paper bats

2. the hostess must be a magnificent witch with stripey stockings and a fabulous hat

3. a bale-o-hay maze like one found at the pumpkin patch

4. a pin-the-nose-on-the-witch game

5. mummy dogs=hot dogs/sausages wrapped in biscuit dough and baked

6. goblin eyeballs=grapes, olives, cherry tomatoes

7. bat wings & monster dip=blue corn tortilla chips & guacamole

8. halloween-ish cupcakes (monsters? witches? ghosts?)

9. chocolate-covered gummy frogs

10. party favors like popcorn balls or a bundle of glow-necklaces

11. clever invites--designed by marta perhaps?

For our usual Halloween celebration, we make [count of] Monte Cristo Sandwiches and serve with salad and apple beer. We take our toddler to about 6 doors to trick-or-treat, put our kiddos to bed, put in a Hitchcock movie and greet trick-or-treaters. It's just how we like it.

School Days: Happy Trails

via Travelin Oma's School Days Seminar

Homework: Do any or all or be inspired. ~Write a love letter to a modern appliance you could not live without. Idea: "Dear Washer: Before you came to live with me, my life stunk . . . " ~Could you live absolutely alone, for weeks at a time? Write a paragraph about what you would do if you had nothing to do. Prompt: "All I have here is time. I've decided that I will . . . " ~If you could plan a 3-day festival to depict your lifestyle, what ten activities would you choose? Go back and explain why each one is meaningful. Idea: Hike up Mount Olympus, German cooking class, political debate, etc."

Ooooh. A 3 day festival honoring my lifestyle. Planning an imaginary party, which involves list-making, as a homework assignment? Might as well just give me an A+ right now, since this is all about the planning and not the execution. I'm a girl of great vision but for some reason my execution of said visions just never measures up. This much I know for sure: a lifestyle festival would involve lots of great food, great music, and the great outdoors a great photographer to document it all.

1. Eating, eating, eating

2. Outdoor movie

3. Hike

4. Picnic & sunshine & the great oudoors

5. Spa

6. Broadway show

7. Games and laughter

8. More of the great outdoors

9. Book Swap

10. Dancing

To be played out thusly, because a festival should be festive:

Day one would begin with a grand Welcome to the Festival dinner. An evening start to the festivities because I love evening time, all mixed up with daytime and nightime and filled with possibility and memories a-humming. All of my dearest and nearest attend a feast of fried chicken, mashed potatoes and country gravy, whole wheat bread and strawberry jam, tossed salad, and chocolate cake of sinful proportions. An all-American meal, all for all my favorite people. There would be live music of course, because that's how I like it. I'm a sucker for great atmosphere: soulful music, a gazillion twinkle lights in the trees, Mason jars bursting with fresh flowers, the air thick with fragrance and laughter. Then, an outdoor movie. Something timeless Casablanca perhaps, or Indiana Jones or You've Got Mail or The Sound of Music. All depends on my mood, which changes. Often. To accompany the flick would be all the best movie treats as I'm a firm believer in treats with movies. Popcorn, licorice (red and black), raisinettes for every guest. Happy dinner, happy music, happy movie, happy treats, happy friends, happy children and a happy evening.

Day Two: a hike to Hidden Falls at Jenny Lake first thing in the morning. Fresh air and wide open spaces and reverence and exhiliration, maybe a bear or two. My three guys and me together in one of our happy places. A picnic of course, with Red Rover and Capture the Flag and watching my wee boys runhopcrawlclimb every last ounce of energy out of themselves. It's what I do all day. After getting all pretty in my little black dress that really isn't so little, it's time for a night on the town with a broadway show. I don't even care which one, though Annie Get Your Gun is fun, Wicked is fantastic, Aida is wonderful..I could go on and on. I do know that many show tunes, Mr. J secretly does too, and I get a little bit goose-bumpy with every opening note of every [very rare] production. Apres-show, lots of lounging and chatting and a late late night of board games and raucous laughter with my loved ones. I rock the house at Boggle, you know. But Aunt Jan would probably school me. My daddy would smile. Mr. J would fling some great one-line zingers. We'd talk and slap our knees until we wake the babies.

Day Three: A lazy morning in honor of the frenzy of household chores I'd normally be performing. A grand brunch with Aunt Carol's strata, hot scones with strawberry jam, piles of fresh fruit. It's a perfect meal and the kind thing I like to prepare for my Mr. J. We'd spend the day outdoors planting flowers and pulling weeds, to honor the home I try to make beautiful. Maybe we'd do a book swap with everyone's favorites exchanged for someone else's favorites; teenage vampire smut prohibited. How delightful to learn about someone else by getting lost in their favorite book, no? I might give Little Women or Where the Wild Things Are. In the evening, another dinner, more live music, and this time lots and lots of dancing. Oh I wish there were more dancing in my life. A good old fashioned barbecue with all the trimmings? A shrimp boil? Family style and surely more chocolate cake. More flowers in pots overflowing. More twinkle lights and candles flickering. Fiddles and guitars and two-stepping, old standards and swing dancing. At this festival Mr. J really busts some moves on the dance floor. Laughter, hugs, twirling and fizzy drinks. Little ones wiggling and bouncing about with giggles aloft on the breeze.

It's imperative to end on a high note, rather than just fizzle out. So, I'd send all those dear guests home with a special gift of something clever and sentimental all wrapped up pretty with ribbons. It's just the kind of girl I am. Blessed and grateful and eager for them all to feel loved by me; I'm all about the party favors. And a pretty ribbon makes anything more special. In fact, I might tie up my simple, few-frills, fresh-air lifestyle with a big fat bow right this minute. As lifestyles go, it's a good one.

School Days: Travel Studies

Travel Studies: Wrong Track

via travelin oma's school days

Homework: Do any or all or be inspired.

~Have you ever been lost? How did you get found? Write about a travel experience (or a life experience) where you needed help finding your way back. Prompt: "I didn't realize I was lost until______."

~Remember a time you felt a connection to a stranger in a strange place. Start a paragraph with this sentence: "I never found out his name, but I won't forget how__________."

~Read a journal entry you wrote a few years ago. Let your heart visit that place and time, remember what you learned, and realize how far you've come since then.

I didn't realize, at least not completely, that I really was lost until that night. Attempting denial so I could pretend to be in control of my world, totally with it, hip, happenin'. Looking for love (or validation or purpose or contentment) in all the wrong places, as the song goes. Then he showed up. So much planning and effort on his part for a special evening, though we were practically strangers. Alas, his best laid plans unravelled at every turn. Not fault of his own, I knew that. I found a certain charm, and felt a sense of pride, at his flustered words and frustrated attempts at a night on the town. I did my best to help move the evening along in such a way he wouldn't feel like and absolute fool. Let's face it, he just wasn't all that smooth. It was a little funny though. And sweet.

It was easy with him. Talking, sitting, driving that night from one end of town to the other. Just being. I suddenly didn't have to be more this way or less that way, or think this thought or say that or avoid saying something else. I didn't have to try harder or pretend more. Perhaps because I secretly sensed he was nearly putty in my hands, perhaps because he was just that genuine. He wasn't strutting about or fanning his feathers. He was just there. With me. Hanging on my every word. Treating me like he thought I was all that and a bucket of chicken. Treating me as a gentleman should, though completely without airs.

I knew by the end of that night that he loved me. I knew it before he knew it. No longer coasting restlessly. No longer wandering aimlessly through empty relationship after pompous fool after weak-minded oaf after spoiled dope. No longer bouncing from superficial to silly to aimless. No longer lost in the dark hallways of anxiety and self doubt. No longer hesitant or afraid to be found, to be loved. Just as I was. I knew it that night. I didn't want to know it--where would be the drama and thrills if I had the answer? But still, I knew it. Safety. Warmth. Kindness. Just love. Found. And now he's stuck with me.

School Days: Write Away

Poet's Corner

via travelin oma's school days

words I love:

giggle baby peppermint thrill autumn luggage flibbity-jibbit beholden citron alabaster crispy brisk pumpernickel hush sugar fluff twilight zig-zag noodle wretched phlox lily periwinkle moon marguerite will-of a-whisp impossible ephemeral woolen blaze abandon simmer whisper vexing sprinkles

School Days: School of Thought

life as an art form

via travelin oma's school days

Homework: Do any or all or be inspired. ~Write a thank-you letter to someone who has inspired you. ~Make a list of ten little things that improved your happiness today. ~Set a goal to do three random acts of kindness this weekend. Record them in your journal on Sunday night and tell how it made you feel.

piglet was a gem today, mostly, even at church

breakfast

snapped pics of nanuk practicing his yoga moves

sweet potato fries

hosiery that didn't slip-n-slide down to my ankles

cozy pjs for nanuk

cozy pjs for piglet

peanut butter cookies

giggles from my little ones

pretty paper

Family Matters Seminar: Traditions

via Travelin Oma's School Days

Homework: Do any or all. (Comment anonymously this time if you don't want to hurt feelings.) ~List five traditions you love. List another five that are past their prime, but are part of your life just because they're traditional. Idea:" I love making Valentine suckers, but the family sleepover is past its prime."

~Do you ever question or resent the way your family/in-law family handles holiday traditions? Have you ever said anything? What happened? Any tactful suggestions? ~Write about a tradition that has influenced your life in a positive way. Idea: "Our family always had family prayer before we opened the Christmas presents; my mom always wrote a letter to us on our birthdays; my grandpa always told us he loved us at Thanksgiving Dinner."

Traditions are lovely. Traditions are renewing. Traditions are connective. And they are sometimes burdens. I've lived on my own since age 18, more or less, and for awhile those brief visits with my family were all about tradition. Then I realized that perhaps I was remembering traditions as better than they really were, simply for the sake of calling them traditions.

Then I married and, since my in-laws were closer in proximity we spent most of the big holidays at their home. Once we had children, though, my husband and I decided that we would spend as many holidays as possible in our own home. Naturally there has been some backlash, but we choose not to heed it. You might say we are blazing trails of tradition as we go along.

Two years ago we discovered the joys of eating out for Thanksgiving. Some find it criminal, blasphemous even, but I'm a holy-rolling convert to the whole idea. Is the joy in the cooking, toiling and the inevitable cleaning? Or in the savoring, visiting and relaxing? And as for those beloved leftovers, well, Mr. J and I just aren't into it. A sandwich the next day is nice, of course, but beyond that, the sight of feast remnants in my fridge is not appealing. Really, leftover mashed potatoes just aren't good, and jello salad isn't really good in the first place, let alone as a leftover.

Of one thing I'm certain: Christmas belongs to us, our little family unit. We are creating our own feelings and memories in our own home on that glorious day. It's sacred to me, especially right now as my babies are are tender and innocent and just soaking up the magic of the whole season. I want to capture it all on my own terms. Grandma is welcome to join us.

There are some traditions from my past, though, that I hope to carry on. New pajamas on Christmas Eve, Valentine breakfasts. Also the small, every-day type traditions like eating dinner as a family nightly. "Thinking of you" notes tucked in lunch bags. Strawberry freezer jam. And of course, we have begun our own little rituals: homemade applesauce in the fall, day trips to Yellowstone and Jackson, bedtime stories together each and every night. I think, I hope, ultimately, it's these simple little habits that will become the dearest memories and cherished traditions.

writing assignment: children's library

via travlinoma's school days

~Do you have recommendations for books that haven't been mentioned yet? Who would enjoy them: a little girl, a 10-year-old boy, the whole family? Is it a read-it-yourself, or a read-it-to-me type book?

~If you were giving just one book to an infant grandchild, what would it be? A friend suggested Clotilda by Jack Kent. I like A You're Adorable by Martha Alexander. What's your favorite?

~Do you remember a special book from your childhood? Who read it to you?

children's books. ahhhh. a subject dear to my heart. Where do I even start? As a newlywed I began building a children's library enthusiastically, long before any babies came to me. I've continued adding to it since the arrival of my wee ones; story time is precious at our home, especially at bedtime. Some we have enjoyed most with our boys: Where the Wild Things Are, it's just so timeless and boyish, Tough Boris is short but precious with a story unfolding in the illustrations, Good Night Moon is quite easily a perfect bedtime story, and Richard Scarry's Best Story Book Ever is filled with silly and interesting illustrations and charming short stories. A wonderful gift for any family, I enjoyed it tremendously as a little girl and now my little boy is thrilled with it. Same goes for the classic Little Golden Books like The Tawny Scrawny Lion and Tootle; they never get old. For older children and adults, Number the Stars is lovely, and my sweet husband never lets a school year go by without reading Where the Red Fern Grows aloud to his students. I read it in fifth grade and cried so hard I vowed never to read it again. But it is wonderful. And every girl should read Anne of Green Gables at some point in her life. Plain and simple.

An early reader (but a late everything else), I was captivated by almost anything readable. Biographies. Picture Books. Novels. Two favorites, aside from my Nancy Drew collection, come to mind. First, Nine Days to Christmas. I remember it from the first grade, when I'd make a beeline for this book at every class visit down the hall to the library. I adored it week after week. It's out of print now, but my husband tracked down a used copy and gave it to me as a Christmas gift two years ago. Romantic, no? The other book is The Giant Jam Sandwich and I think I loved it because it It's silly and rhyming with fun vocabulary, plus it involved summer and strawberry jam, both of which make me happy. I'm so pleased my kiddo enjoy it as much, over and over again. I'll stop now, though the list goes on.

writing assignment: travel studies

What's in your suitcase? via Travelin Oma's School Days

Homework assignment:

~Get a baggie and go to your make-up drawer. Using extras, pack a make-up kit you can keep in your suitcase. Have a toiletry bag ready to go: Put baby wipes in a baggie (if they dry out, just dampen them) to wash your face, and refill or buy some travel-size toiletries. ~Make a packing list of comfortable, washable travel clothes to keep in your suitcase. (The list, not the clothes.) ~Blog about something you never leave home without. Prompt: "I never go anywhere without double-stick tape. I use it for _________.

Bon Voyage!

Well, the kits and the packing list are put together. They've been put together for ages. A few years of frequent business travel taught me preparedness, packing light, and anticipating snafus. Adding children to the mix isn't much different, it just means more stuff. So the kit for mommy, the kit for daddy, the kit for toddler, the kit for baby and the respective packing lists sit patiently on standby, likely reminiscing of their bygone jet-setting days.

I never go anywhere without...baby wipes. Even when I don't have the babies with me, I have the wipes. I'm admittedly a bit of a germ freak, and I hate to feel dirty, especially when I'm away from home. Feeling gross puts a damper on any outing. I never know when I might need to wash my hands or give a questionable surface a quick swipe. I wipe down high chairs and table edges in restaurants before my little ones get strapped in. Its true. My friends laugh but I don't mind. The thought of what could be sitting, living, breeding on such things just makes me shudder. I use baby wipes on shopping carts, cell phones, steering wheels, travel toys. In hotel rooms every surface gets a wipe the instant I set my bags down. If my diet coke takes a little tumble in the car, baby wipe to the rescue! Sticky toddler faces and gooey toddler fingers? Clean in an instant. Baby blowout? Got it covered. Baby wipes are my new go-to accessory, right up there with lip gloss, bobby pins and big sunglasses. Very chic, very on-trend, no?

School Days: The Book Shelf

Travlin Oma, my "course instructor" as it were, and a most well-read woman, shared the following list of the kinds of books one might discover in a great bookstore. Very clever. You can read her full experience here.

1. Books You Needn't Read,
2. Books Made For Purposes Other Than Reading,
3. Books You'd Read If You Had More Time. You bypass them, and move into the
4. Books You Mean To Read,
5. Books You'll Read When They Come Out In Paperback section, and bump into the
6. Books That Everybody's Read So It's As If You've Read Them,
7. Books You Want To Own So They'll Be Handy Just In Case and
8. Books You Ought To Get Now So You Can Read Them Next Summer. Suddenly you see
9. Books Read Long Ago Which It's Now Time To Reread and
10. Books You've Always Pretended to Have Read And Now It's Time To Really Read Them.

Writing Assignment: ~Choose a type of book from the list above, and make your own list of five titles that fit the category.

I'll go with number 10, which may or may not overlap somewhat with numbers 4 and 6. I like confessionals.

* The Princess Bride

* Les Miserables

* Jane Eyre (shameful, I know)

* Lord of the Rings

* The Hobbit

Writing Assignment: Travel Studies

Assignment: ~Where is your ancestral home? Most of us have roots in several places. Pick one city or country you'd like to visit,find it on a map, and explore some travel websites, just for practice. A few of my favorites are: multi-map, Rick Steves,Cheap Flights, Budget Travel.

Such a delicious topic for today's writing assignment from Travelin Oma's School Days. Travel. I love to travel. I really really love to travel. I've travelled more than some, but not as much as I'd like, not as much as I dream. There are places I want to visit and revisit with such longing I feel a little pang in my heart when I think of them. I've had just a taste which has only fueled my appetite further, rather than quench it. I have repeated bouts of incurable wanderlust.

My ancestral home is not singular--I'm "Heinz 57" as my mother calls it. But, my paternal grandmother was born in the US to first generation Italian immigrants; her siblings were born in Italy in a little tiny town near Turin, called Villanova. My family took a trip when I finished college, to visit distant relations who still reside there. It is indeed tiny. I photographed my mother as she stood at one end of town and I stood at the other. It's hardly map-able, if that's a word. The village cemetery bears the names of my ancestors over and over. There is a beautiful park with a pond where our relatives hosted us for a magnificently catered meal. One of several magnificent meals on the same day. The food just kept coming. Later we were guests in the home of my grandmother's cousin Olga--something of a matriarch in the community. I am quite certain that nothing happened in that little town without her knowledge or even her approval. We feasted some more, we sampled cheeses from their wine cellar--enormous wheels of pungent cheese. Some excellent, some so strong my eyes stung! Hospitality was the name of their game and well played it was. An evening I hope I never forget.

We spent a few days in Torino. Turin. Not one of Italy's romantic show-case cities but rich with culture and history just the same. Once occupied by Napoleon. Once the capitol of Italy. Site of famed battles of ages and ages past. Home to Alfa Romeo and Fiat and also the shroud of turin. Which I did not see. Birthplace of snacking chocolate (bars, pieces) as we have come to know it. Aha! My love affair with good chocolate must be genetic. Also touted as the origin of cafe lifestyle with charming little eateries and their tiny tables and chairs, sparkling beverages, handmade hazelnut chocolates, simple sandwiches. Places for greeting and meeting and sipping. And then, then there was the gelato. Everywhere I turned, wonderful gelato. I confess I enjoyed it every day of my trip, sometimes more than once a day. Not a fashion mecca like other Italian cities, but a wonderful place for history, culture, and gastronomic delights.

If I could go back today (there's that pang in my heart!), I'd spend more time at Olga's home, learning more about my ancestry and their day to day lives in a town where everyone is related. She would teach me to cook meatballs and gnocchi. I'd spend more time on the piazzas, visit the Cinema Museum. I'd travel to the top of that distant hill to visit the mysterious cathedral, and I'd remember the mysterious story that surrounds it. Emiglio (goodness his teeth were awful), pointed it out one evening as it's spires jutted against the evening sky. He told a story that fascinated me at the time but whose details I've ruefully forgotten. I'll go back to that gorgeous lake and the water-front cafe and sip ultimate lemonade in a fabulous narrow cylinder of a glass. I'd go back tomorrow. For any reason. To do anything, to do everything. To just be there.

Writing Assignment: Labor Day

School Days with Travelin Oma

Assignment: ~Write a paragraph about a job you would do for free. Prompt: "If money were no object, I'd like to be a ______, and work in_______."

If money were no object, and I could do any job in the world, I might operate a ranch. There are certain parameters of course, like winters that are real yet brief and a bunkhouse full of ranch-hands. There would be prize horses, grand stables, flourishing vegetable gardens, an idyllic and sprawling ranch house--like the Ponderosa of Little Joe's youth. Wide-plank wood floors. A vast kitchen in which I would prepare savory meals. Hearty and wholesome breakfasts to start the days work, comforting dinners to end it. I'd bake homemade bread to serve warm and topped with honey because every child must know such joy and comfort. I'd tend to the horses some, to the house much, to the garden some, and I'd have lavender and sunflowers and perhaps a rose garden. Towering evergreens to shade us and fragrant fruit trees for climbing. My little boys would grow sturdy and agile and really, truly understand the meaning of work. To take pride in their work no matter the job. To appreciate the feeling of work completed, and the subsequent feeling of really truly understanding leisure time. Together we would mend fences and paint walls and wrangle livestock and hoe rows and sweep porches. We would know a life full of meaningful work and meaningful leisure. Perhaps football games on the back lawn, perhaps lemonades on the wrap-around veranda or holidays in a home filled with loved ones and friends--especially friends who make pie because I just don't see myself doing it. Even in my fantasies.

Or perhaps I'd be on broadway. A cast member in a musical. Not the star, but one of those scene-stealing supporting roles like Ado Annie in Oklahoma, or Lina Lamont in Singing in the Rain. Who would be my Don Lockwood, pray tell? I'd have talent, naturally, for singing and dancing. I'd greet audiences after the show at the stage door. I'd do show after show for the sheer love of it, my stage fright notwithstanding. I'd slave over rehearsals to make sure I hit the high notes and made all the twirls and my figure would be rewarded. And it would be marvelously fun. A dream.

Or perhaps I'd live in a small home in a quiet neighborhood where children ride their bikes and play capture the flag and attend birthday parties. Where moms assemble on front porches, hens hovering over their flocks. Where babies are born, loved ones pass, and one friend looks out for the next in ways large and small. Where I bake Toll House chocolate chip cookies and make peanut butter sandwiches and spaghetti and meatballs and my little boys gobble it all up. Where my husband loves his work and contributes to the good of the world every day. Where my home is not a catalog page but still beds are cozy and loved ones are welcome. Where sometimes we argue but mostly we laugh. Where we tuck in our babies at night with Good Night Moon and Give Said the Little Stream. And open our windows for the valley breezes. And we love each other. Yes, maybe that's it.