gut feeling

Prompting. Impression. Premonition. Instinct. What do you call it? that sense or that voice that tells you in your heart of hearts what to do. Funny how it never tells you why, it just says do or do not.

An exciting opportunity recently landed in my lap. a chance to use and stretch my abilities, gain some new skills, absorb new ideas, work with interesting people, put a little cash in my pocket. I wanted the adventure. I wanted the project. Of course I did, I love projects. I wanted the challenge. I wanted the diversion. I had the abilities and confidence to do it all; my fingers tingled at the prospect, my mind raced with possibility. Go for it I told myself.

But I turned it down. And I don't know why, other than I felt strongly that I should. That I must turn it down. As I tried to shake that feeling or talk myself out of it, it became stronger. Curse that gut feeling, I didn't want to pass up this chance, new and creative. Which is why I knew that I must. And now that it's passed, I feel better. Not happy, but better. Yet still there is no explanation.

So I'm left to wonder if the heavens, the Universe, have another path for me right now. Maybe a sudden illness. Perhaps an unexpected need within my family  will require all my energy and attention. Perhaps something more thrilling and big is down the road. It may have been that the project would have consumed my life and impacted my family negatively. Maybe the caldera that is Yellowstone National Park is going to erupt and vaporize me. Maybe my fairy god mother is going to show up next week to whisk me off to a castle in Italy.  Would hate to leave any loose ends, you know me. I wonder and what-if but just for a little while because it's pointless. I'll never know why until after the why has come to pass, and maybe not even then. The universe knows all and has made it clear to me the choice I should make. I have to respect it and stand by it. Come what may. I may have some regrets now, but in the end I trust that all will be as it should.  It's what we call faith, where I come from.

[photo credit]

the reason

[Christ in Red Robe by Minerva Teichert]

for God so loved the world...
John 3:16

you are my sunbeam

My piglet is a sunbeam. (In our church, children age 3-4 attend the sunbeam class on Sundays) 8 weeks and going strong. He was assigned to give a talk in Primary a few weeks ago and seemed quite happy about it, though I'm not entirely sure he knew what was involved. His assigned topic: Jesus Christ is my Savior and Redeemer. Rather a broad topic for a three year old, but if anyone was capable, it would be my Piglet. John 3:16 seemed like a good place to start, and we worked on the message all week. When his big day arrived, my little guy needed only a few prompts from start to finish and, I've got to say, stood in front of those kids like he owned that podium. It went something like this (italics indicate his words from memory):

Heavenly Father loves us (he held a paper heart for the children to see)
He wants us to live with him someday.
He sent His son Jesus Christ to show us the way.
Jesus taught us to be kind and to obey.
Jesus loves us; He suppered and died for us.
He is our Savior.
If we follow Jesus we can live with Him and Heavenly Father again someday.
I know Jesus love me. I will try to be like him.

I was utterly bursting with pride and love for my sweet, dauntless boy.

What-Shall-We-Give?

the stockings are hung with care

children will be nestled in their beds this eve

and we remember why

herald angels sang

Joy! to the world

on a silent night,

that a loving mother laid her baby in a manger.

let earth receive her King.

What-Shall-We-Give?

this is a most lovely message.  click away.

grief

my family is grieving the loss of a loved one today, remembering his fun-loving ways and praying for comfort for his wife, children, and siblings.

I'm wishing I could be with them.

how beautiful is the plan of salvation and how grateful we are for eternal families.

rendition

enjoy this version of my most favorite hymn ever,

as done by Sufjan Stevens

discovered via Design Mom

charity never faileth

Tonight I hugged a woman I'd never met before. She'd been crying, weeping, sobbing. I cried with her. And I hugged her again.  It's what we do when there is suffering: women, sisters, wives, mothers, neighbors. A young mom with three small children. Her husband was killed in a car accident late last night; she was told in the wee hours of the morning. They moved to my neighborhood two weeks ago and know but very few people here. Nonetheless, the troops have been rallied. It's a beautiful thing, this organization that in a matter of minutes arranged care for her children, prepared meals for her and her extended family, offered prayers and assistance in countless ways. It's difficult to know exactly what to do in such a tragic circumstance. Our instincts are to help, but how? Is my offering of coloring books, crayons, and tomorrow's breakfast really going to ease her burden? Temper the suffering of her family? I may never know, but I believe it's true that, as Camilla Kimball said,  one should "never suppress a generous thought." 

productivity

[image via martha]

the blessings of hosting Relief Society at your house (besides all those intrinsic spiritual blessings, of course): increased domestic productivity.

• fresh bed linens
• finished laundry
• paint touch ups (B took care of it without being asked)
• artwork hung--artwork that's been awaiting display for months and months
• kitchen gleaming
• family room  just so
• take-out pizza for dinner + paper plates=no dishes!
• sweet treats for sharing (leftovers for maybe not sharing)
• vacuuming, dusting, sweeping, polishing, scrubbing
• plus story time, play time, lunch time, snuggle time, bath time with the little one. 
• sweet neighbors that bring big fat slices of asphalt pie when it's all over:

And today, I'm tired.  And I had a diet coke. And I'm thankful that I probably will never be asked to teach enrichment. ever. again. 

roped in

I don't normally have difficulty saying "no" to extra activities or projects if I feel they will spread me too thin. I prefer a little balance and peace and order, and to do things 100%. That said, why did I agree to teach Enrichment? At my home? Tonight? A lesson on "goals."  With dessert to follow. Better question still: why did they ask me in the first place?  Anyway, too late now. I said "yes" and the gig is on. 7:00pm. 

Any inspiring tidbits you'd like to share with me that I can share with my guests? Goal setting/Goal achieving Do's and Don'ts? You might become famous. At least in my living room. I'm off to dust and vacuum. You know, to give the illusion that I'm a domestic goddess and fully qualified to teach Enrichment. 

update: I think I didn't bomb. I wasn't as sparkling a presenter as I imagined, and my message wasn't as spectacular as I envisioned. it could have been worse I suppose. at the very least my house was clean and I have a few leftover coconut treats for myself and the "nanuck of the womb." 

To everything there is a season

I've been released from the Young Women Presidency in my ward, a bittersweet turn of events. Bitter because I feel a kinship and an obligation to these tender teenage girls, facing crossroads and challenges and so in need of love and encouragement and role models. They make me laugh, make me feel like my time with them matters, and I enjoyed planning  meaningful activities with them. Sweet because it was very time consuming and frustrating, under a fun-loving yet disorganized president to whom my "counsel" was useless.  It made for too much precious time wasted, and too many sub-par efforts. The girls deserve 100%, as does the Lord.

It was difficult to let the bishopric know I needed to be released. B works full time,  attends graduate classes one night each week, and has to log over 200 internship hours (after his regular work day) for his graduate degree. That keeps him away one or two nights per week. He's also in the Elders Quorum Presidency, which requires a big chunk of time. With a second baby 2 months away, our fantastically active and obstinate 2 year old, and my YW commitments, neither of us was able to give 100% in our efforts. Something had to give. Right now, B's  obligations are more important; I need to be available to support him and pick up the slack. But I still felt a little bit like I was bailing on fragile 14 year olds. 

The bishopric member told me this: the scriptures tell us there is a time and a season for all things. He expressed love and appreciation for my efforts, and perfect understanding and support of my request. My replacement is compassionate and smart and much nicer than I ever will be.  I think I've made the right decision. I only hope that I've been able to teach these Young Women the following lessons:

• When making choices, consider this: "it may not be the worst thing I could do, but is it the best thing?"
• Do more than you think is necessary: be kinder, work harder, aim higher than you think you need to. The bare minimum is not enough to see you through, whether academically, socially, or spiritually. 
• Young Women is a program dedicated to you, but it's not always about you: Participating is often more valuable than any specific activity or lesson, whether your participation benefits you or someone else. 
• Education, both now and after high school, is critical. Don't sacrifice it, don't waste it, don't ignore it. 

Semi-Annual Refill

I look forward to this event every April and October. In my growing up years, my family dressed in Sunday best and drove to our church building to view all 4 sessions of LDS General Conference via satellite. Twice on Saturday, twice on Sunday.  I distinctly remember falling asleep, briefly, on my father's shoulder. His tweed jacket didn't make a very comfortable resting place, however. 

I'm grateful now to be able to enjoy General Conference from the comfort of my own home, in my comfy clothes, on my comfy couch, with pancakes or waffles lovingly made by B on a lazy morning. We just relax and partake of the vast wisdom and love generated at each session. Regular weekends seem to be filled with chores and errands and so many church meetings, but each April and October I savor a weekend with little else to do but lounge, listen and enjoy. Punctuated by lovely performances by the Tabernacle Choir, it's a semi-annual re-filling of my spiritual well. 

Video streaming and downloads available soon here. I recommend talks by Henry B. Eyring, Jeffrey R. Holland (a personal favorite always), Thomas S. Monson, and Boyd K. Packer. 

If your heartstrings need a little tug

read this article...

Girls Camp 2008

I left my guy and my little M in G'Ma Krissy's excellent care for 48 hours. They were both spoiled while I roughed it in the Targhee wilderness: Sunshine, cool breezes, sapphire skies, evergreen forests, tin foil dinners, trail mix, roasted Starbursts (not bad...worth a try), funny tent-mates, spectacular hike, and plenty of giggles to go around.  Everything  Young Women Camp should be.  Camp is different from stake to stake, but in the end it's all about building skills, confidence, and friendships.  No surprise that my tent was the loudest, the latest. Because I'm a cool leader like that.

 PS: hot pink toenail polish is completely appropriate for camping...

PPS: is it obvious that I just installed photoshop elements 6 about 90 minutes ago and that I haven't a clue what I'm doing with it?    Yeah, that's what I thought. 

Peace

I presented a nice little lesson (the lesson was nice, not necessarily my presentation) to the young ladies at church yesterday. The take-away: in order to feel more peace in our daily lives we might consider more of the following:

Love

Prayer

Service

Obedience

Study

Work

Food for thought as we start the week.

A copy of the official lesson here.

Spiritually Fed

Last night we held a special activity for the Laurels and Mia Maids. Our theme for activities during the month of January has been "faith" so to cap it off, we invited 3 lovely women to teach us about some Heroines of Faith in the scriptures. It was wonderful! I think even the girls gleaned something from the great talks that were delivered to us. 

First we discussed this brave woman who faced possible death to spare the lives of her people

Then these remarkable mothers whose commitment to righteousness wrought miracles for their young sons

and finally this amazing woman whose unwavering faith in unspeakable hardship is inspiring.

Gordon B. Hinckley 1910-2008

Delightful.  Kind.  Warm.  Wise.  Compassionate.  Witty.  Steadfast.  Beloved.

A hero, a pillar of faith, a blessing for our time. Home now with his sweet Marjorie. 

Special Family Outing

We ventured into the frigid temperatures today and drove up to Rexburg, along with Grandma & Grandpa, to attend the public open house for the LDS Rexburg Idaho Temple. It's a special opportunity to view the interior of the temple and learn about it's purpose prior to it's formal dedication. After the dedication, only those members of the LDS faith who follow a high moral code and Christian principals may attend for worship and instruction. 

This new temple is perched gloriously on a hilltop, gleaming white and meticulously constructed. The interior is absolutely stunning. Not ostentatious or over-done

 or extravagant, but elegant, tasteful and very very beautiful. The artwork is masterful, and includes original paintings (many by a favorite artist) and  several larger-than-life murals depicting the local landscape. The gleaming crystal chandeliers and sconces literally took my breath away, I've never seen anything so gorgeous. I especially loved the subtle and symbolic wheat motif and organic influences throughout the building, and expressed in the exquisite finish work. There is also a Frank Lloyd Wright feel to the stained glass windows. One cannot attend the open house and fail to sense the sacred, peaceful nature of this building.