eighteen months

oh goodness. eighteen months big and eighteen months sweet and eighteen months strong and eighteen months curious. this boy is tender when tenderly scolded for little naughty antics, like dumping his drink onto his plate while proclaiming to all in earshot "Nawdy! Nawdy!" or trying to open the oven. But he gets over the grumpiness quickly. This boy stays near to mommy and is anxious of strangers and repeats everything his big brother says. Nanuk would very much like to be a nudist, resisting with vigor all attempts at diapering and clothing him.  He gets excited from his toes on up when his brother enters the room, yet defends himself with confidence when necessary. Brothers just wrestle with each other, right? It's just what they do?

I love how Nanuk takes such pleasure in emptying every cabinet/drawer/ bin of it's entire contents, tossing items of little interest over his shoulder. I love that he still wants to be cradled in my arms for lullabies at bedtime. I love that while he is snuggled up against me he stares into my eyes with utmost faith. I love how he pretends to put his finger in my mouth while I pretend to gobble it right up and he thinks it's hilarious every time.

A happy eater, bananas for bananas and smoothies which I often make just him say "moo-ie! moo-ie!" Story time, which is whenever and wherever he plops himself on my lap, frequently includes 3 rounds of Panda Bear, Panda Bear. He totally digs animals, action figures ("guys"), swings, and coloring; his favorite crayon is "geen." Nanuk is a treat, that's for certain. Soon he'll be climbing the pantry shelves to reach the cookies. Soon he'll be too big for the safety and confinement of a crib. Soon he'll be able to dish out everything his brother does, with equal gusto. Soon his soft baby scent will be gone and I'll no longer be able to call him my baby. And soon, I'll have to accept it.

and another one

Today's lesson learned: the seam ripper is my friend. this little undertaking for a bouncing new baby boy I can't wait to meet. I'm diggin' those polka dots.

a little celebration

a little invitation
a little cake (note: purchase clear vanilla extract in the future)
a little festivity
a little surprise or two
a little party favor (bouncy balls would have been fun, too)

one

...singular sensation, every little step he [almost] takes
...year ago my joy doubled
...baby nearly born in the car

...enormous smile, one hundred times a day

...infectious giggle

...pair of big blue eyes

...chubby bum

...more new tooth, bringing the total to 6

...endless appetite

...fascination with doors

...set of chunky yet very speedy legs

...fearless attitude

...obsession with daddy's nose

...devotion to his big brother

...boundless curiosity 

...growing vocabulary (uh-oh, bye-bye, mama, dada, ball...)

...bundle of overwhelming sweetness

...squeezable, hand-clapping, bye-bye waving happy birthday boy

Happy Birthday, Nanuk.
xoxoxoxoxo

of note: stands but doesn't quite walk unassisted, signs for eat, drink, diaper and more, especially fond of peaches, bananas, carrots, chicken yogurt, and wheat crackers, bops and wiggles to any kind of music, loves story time and bath time and nap time, loves"wrestling" with daddy and brother, generally happy all the live long day. we mourn the little bits of babyhood that evaporate, but seize the tiny adventures of impending toddler-hood. Oh how we love this second little pea in our pod.

22 pounds
30.5 inches

he can't help it

His mama love-uh de pasta, his papa love-uh-de pasta, his brother love-uh de spaghetti, too. It's in his blood, I'm afraid. Thankfully, only one of us looks like this after a good old fashioned spaghetti dinner:

on standby

Piglet seems to have croop. It's our first bout, and the past 24 hours have been textbook but not severe. At midnight, he awoke sobbing and coughing and wheezing, lips turning blue. Into the bathroom we went, and turned on a hot shower. There I sat with my toddler on my lap as he snuggled my shoulder, letting the warm steam work it's magic--soothing his breath, frizzing my  hair--until he declared in a voice squeaky from the coughing, "I feel better mommy!" A mug of orange herbal tea with lots of honey followed, which he actually liked. A quick treatment for his high fever and he was back to sleep, waking periodically over the next few hours with shivers and cheerful hallucinations about mickey mouse and rainbows. The miracle of it all: he was 100% agreeable and delightful all day, no worse for the wear. And come bedtime, he was fast asleep inside of 3 bedtime stories.

Now, we are armed for another round of fevers and coughing through the night. Herbal tea and honey on standby. Strange how tending to my babies in the wee hours doesn't require any second thoughts or longing for more sleep. Instincts kick in, TLC takes over, any thoughts of self-preservation flee. I almost welcome the opportunity to be so needed by my wee ones, and to see them sound asleep by 7:05pm. Crossing my fingers that this scary croop passes by little Nanuk.

downward facing dog

or is it plank position?

his eager, determined attempts at crawling have him all kinds of contorted. my favorite position: up on fingertips and tippy toes with little baby bum up in the air. this move is most always followed by an army-style dive-scoot-reach maneuver. and most likely in pursuit of his big brother's toy cars.

Nanuk, 6 months

for the record, our baby's name is not actually "nanuk." he was given a perfectly nice name. "nanuk" is Inuit for bear cub and is the nick-name we used while he was in-utero. It stuck.

17.6 pounds 26 3/4 inches

rolling to and fro and every which way over and over

giggling giggling giggling

babbling babbling babbling

curious curious curious

sweet sweet sweet

particularly enchanted by his big brother

particularly enchanting to his mommy

particularly fond of bananas with his rice cereal

particularly chubby legs and cheeks

I fall for it every time

I'm a sucker for the gymbucks.

anybody else?

long distance

It was time. Couldn't be put off any longer. Nanuk's permanent move from bassinet at my bedside to crib all the way down the hall. I don't like him being so far away from me. As it is, I don't like Piglet being so far away from me at night either and he's nearly 3. A distance of a whopping 20 steps. Anxiety.

When I was pregnant with Piglet, someone gave me the following advice: "Never let the baby sleep in your room. You'll never get any sleep." I had not yet become a mother officially, but I knew instantly her advice was not for me. I wanted that baby in arm's reach constantly. I wanted to hear every little breath and coo, grunt, stretch and wimper. All reassurances of life in him. I wanted to reach into the bassinet just inches away each time he needed me. Each time I needed him. Sitting up in bed half asleep to stroke his forehead was also much easier than trudging down the hall at every wakeful peep. Or at every moment of motherly paranoia I may have encountered in my sleep. You know the kind. hearing and knowing were more important than sleeping, in my book.

All too soon, though, that first baby was mobile. Reaching one arm over the side of the bassinet as leverage to peer over the top. Grabbing the sides with each hand and trying to pull himself to sitting. Yikes! It was time to graduate to the big lonely crib. Oh sadness. My first night of reliance on the baby monitor had me all worked up, but eventually I got used to it. And here's a confession: that first baby is now nearly 3 years old old and I still keep a monitor in his room. Pathetic? Perhaps, but I want to know that if he has a bad dream or upset tummy or earache that I can hear his little voice instantly. It rarely happens, but you know, just in case. A little peace of mind.

So, now our baby Nanuk has outgrown his accommodations next to Mommy's bed. The one over which he peers each morning to greet me, beaming. His fluffy noggin touches one end, his little toes touch the other. Barely room for him to roll over (his favorite trick). It's time. But I'm not yet ready to leave Piglet monitor-less at night. Hence another confession: I bought another monitor. One for baby-the-first on my dresser. One for baby-the-second on Mr. J's dresser. Judge if you must.

Nanuk, 4 months

growing strong and happy and content

quick to giggle, sure to snuggle

still smells like new

rolling over

fists most always in his mouth

feet most always up in the air

a drooling little peach of a baby

14 pounds 7 ounces

25 inches long

ps: hey, kiddo. sorry that of all the traits I could have passed on to you, you ended up with a severe cowlick just like mine. really sorry.

everybody cries, nobody sleeps.

The past 4 months (has it really been that long?) have been a whirlwind roller-coaster of adjusting and changing. Not always pretty. In fact, often downright ugly. Until just a few weeks ago, it came down to these four words:

everybody cries. nobody sleeps.

This was all too frequent:

frequent, though usually brief:

But, things are improving day by day; the heavens have seen to it that these 2 boys have a sane mommy. At least to some degree. Piglet likes Mommy again. Nanuk sleeps through the night and Piglet's meltdowns. The two wee ones are crazy about each other. Mommy is in the swing of life with two. Her two boys. And she's crazy about both of them.

Nanuk's photo shoot, 7 weeks

I'm so happy with these pictures;

Ashley got some really great shots.

happy

Baby Photos

Most darling Ashley had a photo shoot with our little Nanuk. She was very patient. Photographer and subject were both very patient. For a preview of the photos, and a sampling of her many talents, not the least of which is photography, go here.

Ashley: I'm thrilled with the sneak peek! Can't wait to see more. Thanks thanks thanks!

There is an hour of peace and rest...

I've had my doubts, but there really is an hour of peace and rest every once in awhile...

...when both boys are napping. simultaneously. 

Piglet's quiet time miraculously became naptime when he crawled under his covers. his cowboy blankie sealed the deal. a very rare occurrence these past months. Nanuk's nap was wondroulsy extended because Piglet was asleep instead of having a meltdown.

amazing what a mommy can accomplish with 2 free hands and a good 90 minutes. 

It's not gas

The photo is blurry--goodness how babies wiggle!--but the smile is clearly visible. I don't believe those who claim babies can't smile and that expressions resembling smiles are simply gas-related. For 2 reasons:

1. if they can express unhappiness and discomfort, why not also happiness and contentment?

2. who smiles when they have gas?

Few things are thrilling as newborn baby coos, giggles and smiles. 

Blessing

Health. Strength. Desire for knowledge. Confidence. Peacemaker. Friendship. Brotherhood. Sweetness. 

Survival

Adjusting

It's been a bumpy ride these last 3 weeks. Nanuk is a sweet, snuggly mild baby. We are thrilled beyond words to have him with us, just as we were with M, our piglet. Thus far, M has been very sweet with his baby brother, giving him tender little kisses, caressing his soft head, whispering cute big brother things like "It's OK, Nanuk" and "I'll protect you baby brother." He likes to bring blankies and chupas (binkies) and help with diaper changes. 

M has not, however, been so charming with his parents.  When I first came home from the hospital, he wanted nothing much to do with me for about 3 days; I was blacklisted. He got over it. But he moved on to repeated, frequent, monumental, catastrophic meltdowns. Mind boggling, migraine-inducing, nerve racking, exhausting, heartbreaking meltdowns. Constantly waking Nanuk. 

Discipline of any kind has failed to sink into his spirited, willful, stubborn little brain. And I'm abouttolosemymind. I miss my happy little guy with the sense of humor and good nature and snuggles and big laughs. Oh how I miss him. Will he come back? Is the damage permanent?

He can't articulate exactly how he feels but clearly he's sensing a disparity in attention--despite my best efforts each day to devote time to only him. A wise friend shared this nugget of child psychology with me: introducing a sibling to the first child is akin to one's spouse bringing an additional spouse into the family. Naturally, that would twist anyone's life all topsy turvy. Is there a magical antidote to his frustration? My heart breaks for him as I fail to make him feel loved enough. My confidence as a parent is waning. My nerves are shot. Nanuk's environment is not the serene, inviting place I worked to create. We are all exhausted. No idea what to do next.