identity crisis

For many years I often joked that my best feature was my left ear lobe with it's tiny brown freckle. I suppose I was too embarrassed to give a real answer to that question "what's your best feature?" or "what do you like about your appearance?" or other such silliness. I was riddled with insecurities so I answered with the ear lobe. Which I suppose is a very fine looking ear lobe, especially with a charming little freckle.

Today as I was drying my hair I caught a glimpse of my ear and had this thought: "I wonder how that little freckle is..."

So I got closer to the mirror.

And I looked and I looked. I asked Mr. J to look.

No little freckle.

None. It hasn't wandered to the back side of the lobe or onto my face, it hasn't wandered over to the right ear. It's just. Gone. My best feature. Vanished into thin air? Washed away in the shower? Nibbled off by Mr. J  a rodent in my sleep? Snagged by a baby?

It's very troubling.  Here I was all worried about getting extra freckles and the one I wanted has disappeared. Life is cruel. I didn't know freckles could do such a thing.